yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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