there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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