You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize