I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
