I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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