I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
