maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
