Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
