She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
