I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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