Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize