Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
