the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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