so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
