I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
