Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
honey bunches of taint.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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