So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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