nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
