Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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