oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
