You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
