To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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