My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
