Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
