As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
