Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
