Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
