Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
