margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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