She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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