i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
