I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
