it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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