Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
