party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
