I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
