i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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