The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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