You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
