well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
