Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
