It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
