so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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