do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize