If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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