hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize