You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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