I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
