take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
did i just pee glitter
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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