someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude i'm inner monologue high
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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