He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm having to shit out rocks
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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