you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
