why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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