By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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