What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
