Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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