I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Will exercising make me less horny?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
