she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
