He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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